There is something to be said about being a strong woman. As well as being a big woman. The advantages is that people see you as being as sturdy and capable. The disadvantages? People seeing you as being sturdy and capable.
When you have made a name for yourself as a strong woman, or even a strong person, asking for help can be difficult. Hell, not just difficult, it can be fucking terrifying!
Admitting fault, admitting weakness, breaking down in public, accepting help- sometimes these can be the scariest things. Asking for help? Now don’t even go there.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why is this concept so scary? Often it’s because we are afraid to be let down. We are afraid to feel vulnerable. When we are 4 years old- if we fell down, or something upset us, we would let our emotions. Cry, scream, ask for help, ask for cuddles…all these things but as we grew up, suddenly this behaviour was no longer acceptable. We didn’t want to be called “babies”, the older kids didn’t cry, so we wanted to be like them.
Emotions left unfelt can destroy us from the inside. The more we ignore them, the more we bottle them up and the more push them away, the more they will fester and eventually burst. What could’ve started as a simple feeling of frustration because we refused to ask a loved one to clean up their dirty dishes, can result in a full blown gut wrenching argument because you feel let down.
My biggest issue is this; I don’t ask for help. When I feel alone, when I feel anxious, when I feel depressed or even just a bit overwhelmed- I refuse to let people around me know. Often this would turn into me trying to run a one woman show. Sometimes it would turn out fine and I could get through without a public breakdown- other times it turns into me trying to hold water in my hands and when it turns to that, it goes down in a fiery wreck. It hurts me, it hurts those around me and it causes so many setbacks.
Well no more. I’m not going to be afraid anymore. I’m finally stepping up and asking for the help I need. This fear of asking for help has stopped me from learning, it’s stopped me from getting professional help to deal with my anxiety and it’s held me back for so long. I am trying to set up my future so I’m going to ask for help, from you guys, the people that have made it this far into my blog.
I am trying to raise some funds to help me with my future; to help pay for mental help and coaching. To go towards a program that will help me get through those mental barriers. Also to put towards replacing my broken laptop, so I can work on this project a little bit easier. For any donation, big or small, I will be giving those who donate a digital booklet that has some of my favourite vegan recipes. These include some breakfast, meal prep ideas as well as some baking. I will include all the calories and macros as well. It can be as little as $2 or as much as $10.
If you can’t (or don’t want to- because that’s cool too) please share this post or leave some lovely comments if this post has helped you. And if you need help? Feel free to reach out! I’m happy to play agony aunt or find somebody you trust. Asking for help is a strength that is unlike any other.